Living with my Norwegian boyfriend

Member since 06 November 2017

AleksandraFreedMember06 November 2017 10:25:44

Hi! I'm Aleksandra. I'm 20y.o and I'm from Russia, so pls if I make any mistakes dot judge me馃槉
So long story short, a few months ago I went to Oslo for a vacation and met amazing guy who is currently my boyfriend鈽猴笍I've only been in Oslo for a month and then I ha to come back to Russia. And so it's been a couple months since I left ad we still talk to each other almost everyday, and I'm planning to visit him really soon.
But there's one thing that really bothers me and I don't know how to talk to him about it so I decided to ask here. We never talked about living together, I mean I don't know about his feelings, but I love him so much and I want to live together, ad I don't care in Russia or Norway. But I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to live Norway and I'm totally fine with it. But he just never talk about it. So I wanted to ask if anybody had same experience, what I should do?
And how relationship in Norwegian couples work, how long time it takes until they decide to live together or marry?
And another thing that really really!! bothers me, it's that if I'll move to Norway I don't know what to expect. I heard that in Norway everybody is talking about equal rights so women and men both work and they even pay for apartment together. I'm just not used to it, in Russia and in S.Korea(I lived there for half of a year) in family man work and woman at home with kids, and everybody okay with it. And even when聽 couple don't have kids but they live together man support his girlfriend financially , and even if she wants to work, girls usually spend all money on girl's stuff like makeup, clothes e.t.c
I'll be happy if you can give me some info about all this stuff that bothers me. Thank u馃槉馃槉

GuestPoster491 Guest

GuestPoster491Guest06 November 2017 14:17:01

I think if you're contemplating living with someone, especially where a move to another country is involved, you need to be able to have open adult conversations with the other person and discuss concerns together.聽 Openness and honesty are two parts of lasting love.聽 People on a forum here cannot speak for him personally, only he can!

It sounds that you're afraid of him moving to Russia, and him expecting you to financially contribute to the household instead of being a "housewife" or just an unemployed girlfriend.聽 Again, we cannot know what he expects....you can simply find out by discussing it with him.聽

Whenever one enters a relationship with someone of another culture, you must be prepared to encounter differences, and be willing to accept them or walk away and find someone of your own culture.聽 Either you must accept his perceptions of the household paradigm, or he can accept yours.....or maybe you both find a compromise.聽 There are rarely any set rules that couple must follow, aside from the local laws of course.

My simple advice is: if you love him, show him the respect and trust you would want returned to you by talking to him honestly, in a non-confrontational manner.

p.s - Your English is fine for this forum, some grammar mistakes that I think won't bother anyone We're here to help each other, not judge.聽 There is no need to preface your comments

Romaniac
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AleksandraFreed Member

Member since 06 November 2017

AleksandraFreedMember06 November 2017 23:28:56

Thank u so much馃槉I know that I should talk to him, but just wanted to get some advice before doing it鈽猴笍

Clairella New member

Member since 23 October 2017

ClairellaNew member08 November 2017 11:31:51

I met my Norwegian boyfriend 2 years ago now, I moved to Norway a month ago from the UK so I could be with him. We had some very open honest conversations, I lay down my fears and anxieties, I had worked my whole life and never been dependant on anyone financially. I knew that I loved him deeply so was willing to give up my job and life in London to move somewhere completely new and out of my depth. He was willing to support me financially to do so, he has repeatedly pointed out that he is fine with this, as ultimately it means we can be together. I do not regret my decision at all, it will take me a while to adapt to a new life in Norway but it was worth everything I gave up to be with him.

My advice as Romaniac said is to talk to him, be very honest with how you feel and what any of your worries, fears and anxieties are.

fornight Serial 暗网禁区

Member since 29 February 2012

fornightSerial 暗网禁区08 November 2017 12:20:48

395

Whether your norweigan bf will expect you to contribute equally to family finances or not is really depending on his own personal opinions.

I know both Korean ladies and Russian ladies who married Norwegian husbands.聽 All of them works and contribute to the household expenditure.聽 They might not contribute equally because their husbands are quite rich.

I also know a chinese lady who has a hard time find work in Norway and her husband does not mind supporting her or stay at home as a stay at home wife.

I also knew a Russian lady who works but she is only responsible for the payment relating to family vacations and their son's extra sport activities while her norwegian husband pays for other household expenses.